Finally a Mom on Mother’s Day

Finally. No longer just a #1007mom, but a mom 24/7.

For the past two Mother’s Days I have been a little bit uncertain if the day was for me, but those days I was full of hope for certainty. They were hope-full Mother’s Days.

Finally. I carry not just a pendant, but a baby in my arms.

Finally. I know I should stand and not stop halfway through when the pastor asks, “Who among you here are mothers?”

Finally. I am a bearer of joy and not of sad news, receiving “Congratulations,” and not “I’m so sorry for your loss.”

Finally. Motherhood. Almost three months and yet a lot of times I still get stunned by the fact that I now have a baby with me at home. I now have a child! Certainly, I am a mom!

Oh to be a mom. They say that when a child is born, a mother is also born. 

To learn things I never knew of: latching, burping, giving baby a bath, the dreadful trimming of his nails, the icky sipping out of sipon, and knowing where elevators and nursing rooms are in malls (and that they existed).

To learn new survival skills: shower, hair and makeup all in 30 minutes, eating while baby is nursing, eating with one hand, with the left hand, even using chopsticks with the left hand!

To learn different types of cries and grunts: “Feed me,” “burp me,” “change my nappy,” “I’m gassy,” and the very seldom, “I also don’t know why, mommy!”

Oh to be a mom. It’s borderline crazy sometimes.

Feeling happy when you are eating well and sleeping well, but doubting myself at even the slightest grunt from you, “Is it my fault? Did I do something wrong? What did I eat?”

Of sore arms and a strained back but forever undecided if I want to put you down on your crib or keep you snuggled in my arms.

To want you to sleep longer, to worry when you do that I check for breathing movements!

To not liking nappy changes, to worry when the nappy changes aren’t needed as much as yesterday.

To sleep lightly that my whole being arises at the hint of your call that no one else seems to hear, to sleep deeply knowing you’re safe and here.

To want to sleep so eagerly, but to trade it for a dance with you.

Wishing there’s a pause button and a fast forward one, but all the more never wanting to stop what’s on play.

Oh to be a mom. 

To be strong and vulnerable.

To be firm and loving.

To give everything of me and still have more to give.

Oh to be a mom, finally.

God is simply too good! Our dear Chadric Noah is turning 3 months old on the 20th! The past 3 months have been the best 3 months of my life!!! Happy Mother’s Day to all moms, whether you got to hold your babies here, or you hold on to the sweet promise of holding them later. And I must say, more than “Happy Mother’s Day,” “Congratulations to all moms!” is so much more appropriate!!! Congratulations, mommies!!!

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