Life, Loss

We Had a Daughter

We Had a Daughter

So… I’m finally sharing this story to the world (wide web). In my old blog (which I’ve reposted here), I posted three entries about our dear Berea Dannielle, her first battle, and her second battle. I wasn’t able to publish her third battle, which eventually turned out to be her last. Brei was our first child, given to and taken from us on the best and worst day of our lives as a young married couple. 🤍

What happened?

Brei had congenital diaphragmatic hernia, which meant that there was a hole in her diaphragm. Because of this hole, her stomach and intestines went up to her chest cavity. If this happened at a later time, it may have been operable after birth. However, it occurred very early that it affected the development of her lungs. The hours after her birth proved that her lungs indeed underdeveloped… and nobody could live without lungs.

Why share this now?

Well, we never really hid this story. Those who are closest to us knew what was happening, and they prayed with us every step of the way. When people asked, we shared what happened. Pao and I never really talked about not posting about Brei’s passing in social media, but what we did decide on was that we were going to focus on God—not on Brei, not on the better plans He has for us. God didn’t let us down. His grace, love, comfort, and peace was so abundant even through our time of grief. I guess that’s how we ended up not posting about what happened, that until almost a year after, people were still asking me how’s my baby. They ask me “How’s your baby?” and then end the conversation with “I’m so sorry.”

What now?

I’ve been writing. There’s just SO MUCH that God has showed us in the nine months that I carried Brei and the year that followed, so much that I have to share our story to the world (wide web) so that other moms who are in similar situations, or anybody who has lost someone they truly love, can hopefully be encouraged with a thing or two from what we went through, to hope and be certain that it does get better. I’ve been writing so much that I’ve become an accidental author to a short book. I’ll be publishing it very soon, so please do keep in touch. In the meantime, feel free to leave a comment below. God has used my writing as part of my healing. I hope that reading what I’ve written becomes a part of others’. ❤️


About Pam Marasigan

Hello! I'm a wife and mom who has a full-time job and does homeschooling, and I also birthed a book a year after we lost our firstborn. I aspire to live each day according to God’s purpose for me. I believe that we were designed to live life to the full throughout life’s different seasons.